Clean Quiggers

I have a mate who doesn't exactly do a lot for a living. In fact his dayjob seems to be dispersing information that he finds amusing around his circle of friends. Now usually we could never publish any of this stuff without fear of the FBI, the Gideons or at very least a couple of ninjas bursting in the door and hauling us off to the Ministry of Truth.

But today is different, today is a clean joke day and in honour of this rare occasion we'll share it with you:

I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?

Understated genius.

Do Get High On Your Own Supply

I suppose it's probably the same in every line of business but our own website is the last thing we absolutely ever get around to updating. Pretty poor we know but we've finally got around to it! And I thought I'd make a promise to the three people who regularly read these ramblings that we'll have a new website up by the end of the month, whereby giving myself a deadline that I can't break.

Aye, dead on...

How to win iPhones and influence people...

Went to the 02 shop at Castle Lane in Belfast today after seeing on the 02.co.uk site that they had the iPhone in stock. Had a useful chat with a fella called Jason who within an hour had made all of the silly phone calls I had avoided making, sorted out a transfer of my number to a new sim card and, eureka, I am now in possession of a (very shiny) new iPhone 8G 3G blah blah.

It's lovely, with a nice wee cleaning cloth to keep that sheen and some free stickers just to ram that Apple adoption home. In short, go to Castle Lane, speak to Jason and hopefully you'll get a new iPhone as painlessly as did; and I think going early in the morning is probably a good idea also.

More to come!

Remember when phones were used to actually ring people?

Nah, me neither. So the mobile hunt goes on and on my travels I come across this which is a web server for mobile phones that allows you to host your own mobile website.

This is one of the following:

1) A wonderful idea
2) The worst idea ever
3) Witchcraft
4) A government plot

It's all nice and fluffy until you read the bit about publishing location data. Wayyyy too Big Brother for my liking (not the TV show, read the bloody book!)

Any way expect more crying, rambling and silly discoveries before this saga is over.

Be careful what you wish for...

Did I say I was getting an iPhone? I did didn't I? I've now wasted about three days of my life actually trying to figure out the mechanism through which I can get my mits on one.

I'm with 02 which is a good start and I'm in my upgrade period which you would think could make things easy. That is until you find out you're on 'the old system' (said like you're a criminal of some description) and that the 02 shop can't help you and your long-time-customer kin. Ring 02 customer services they say, they have the better deals anyway.

So you do and are met with, not a human being, but a message saying that if you're ringing about the iPhone don't bother, it's out of stock. Any steer on when it'll be back in stock? Fuck no, it's just out of stock and that's all the information you deserve.

For anyone who has followed this blog you'll know that we haven't exactly had fun with new technology a lot of the time at No More Art. If anything, we're like dinosaurs compared to the young scamps around these days what with their new fangled iPods, iHeads or whatever they've got that confuses me these days.

So I'm relenting. I'm going backwards. If they're going to make it so damn hard to keep up then I'm dropping out. I'm going to be a technohobo through choice and get either a Blackberry or the new Sony Ericsson.

Stay tuned, this one will be a saga.

An apple today helps you work, rest and play

After nigh on a decade of avoiding them, in fact if truth be told, actively speaking out against them I'm just about to give in and get my first bit of Apple kit. As of tomorrow, I'll be attached to the new Iphone for 18 months and I'm scared.

Scared that I'll like the bloody thing too much. Fearful that the beauty and slickness of the machines that I've managed to miss for so long will become blindingly clear and that my bank balance, social life and general persona will suffer.

I'm terrified that the PC lovin' crew of which I've always been a part will find me and out me as an Applephile, Brass Eye style and that I'll finally have to make reparations to the likes of Wayne Matier, a guy I grew up with who actually has the Apple logo tattooed on his leg he's such a zealot.

God help me I'm taking the apple. The sins of the world will all be my fault.